Crystal the Pistol

I'm a monkey

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  1. theepichumor: More on The Epic Humor

    theepichumor:

    More on The Epic Humor

    (Source: xitslexi)

     
     
  2. My dad says there are no bad “your mama” jokes

    My dad says there are no bad “your mama” jokes

    (Source: minus53)

     
     
  3. gettinchai: RIP Foxy 1995-2012 One of the best things that ever happened to me. I will always remember you coming out to greet me when I met Megan for our first date. I will not remember you in pain or suffering. I will remember you talking in your sleep, bouncing in the morning when you woke up, waiting outside the shower for us, rubbing your face on the carpet, the look of joy when you would sit in the yard in the breeze, and always licking my ankles and feet. I will remember your spirit and how you held on for so so long, for our sakes. I will remember you forever. You were so very loved.

    gettinchai:

    RIP Foxy
    1995-2012
    One of the best things that ever happened to me. I will always remember you coming out to greet me when I met Megan for our first date. I will not remember you in pain or suffering. I will remember you talking in your sleep, bouncing in the morning when you woke up, waiting outside the shower for us, rubbing your face on the carpet, the look of joy when you would sit in the yard in the breeze, and always licking my ankles and feet. I will remember your spirit and how you held on for so so long, for our sakes. I will remember you forever. You were so very loved.

     
     
  4. The BFFB

    The BFFB

     
     
  5. Skittles finally got a hold of my chewy chewy and ran under the sofa with it. Very uncool - she knows I’m too big.

    Skittles finally got a hold of my chewy chewy and ran under the sofa with it. Very uncool - she knows I’m too big.

     
     
  6. My baby picture

    My baby picture

     
     
  7. SOON

    SOON

     
     
  8. One day, you will be my sweet chewy chewy.

    One day, you will be my sweet chewy chewy.

     
     
  9. gettinchai: Newest addition to the family. Everyone, meet Max! HI MAX!

    gettinchai:

    Newest addition to the family. Everyone, meet Max!

    HI MAX!

     
     
  10. My dad has all my treats named that he gives me throughout the day. This is my “big cookie”, which I get when he makes his tea at night. Before bed, I get the “baby cookie”, which is smaller. In the morning before he goes to work, he gives me the “stinky fart maker”. It’s chicken jerky (nommers). Apparently it makes me stinky, so he hopes the stinky part will be over when he gets home from work. When I’m lucky, he gives me the “big fat fucking bone”, aka “the chewy chewy”, which is pork rawhide. My dad says a lot of bad words.

    My dad has all my treats named that he gives me throughout the day. This is my “big cookie”, which I get when he makes his tea at night. Before bed, I get the “baby cookie”, which is smaller. In the morning before he goes to work, he gives me the “stinky fart maker”. It’s chicken jerky (nommers). Apparently it makes me stinky, so he hopes the stinky part will be over when he gets home from work. When I’m lucky, he gives me the “big fat fucking bone”, aka “the chewy chewy”, which is pork rawhide. My dad says a lot of bad words.